Tag Archives: Comedy

Bioshocked (and other news)

So I played through Bioshock the other day and I was going to post up my thoughts, but heck, like most things I plan to do, it didn’t really happen. In fact so little has happened this holiday that I haven’t written a blog entry for over a month, which frankly just Isn’t Good Enough.

In summary of what I can remember, I lazed about a worryingly large amount, did no work, earned no money, went out a few times, but otherwise wasted weeks of my precious youth. Urgh, sounds worse when I say it like that.

Anyways, I played through Bioshock, and some of my thoughts are vaguely congruent with this here video, which is just too funny for words to quite capture:

He is quite right. Bioshock is probably going to be one of the best games of the year, a few other ones not withstanding. This isn’t a reflection so much on the quality of Bioshock per se, and more on the fact that practically nothing good has come out for ages. Seriously, can you remember the last really awesome game that came out? I sure as hell can’t.

It’s overly heavy on exposition, the AI isn’t that good, the ghost sequences make no kind of logical sense, the Vitachambers (think instant respawn) make whupping the hell out of everything too easy. It picks up towards the end though, where you start to get a bit more variety into your powers. I’m not full of hate – the art direction is stunning, and some of the individual set-pieces are breathtaking. The concept of the Little Sister / Big Daddy is wonderful, and something I would love to see more of in games.

Little Sisters are little girls who have been turned into monsters; they prowl Rapture extracting Adam (the resource needed to hop yourself up on genetic goodies like fireballs) from the bodies of dead enemies. This makes them somewhat of a target, as they carry lots and lots of Adam, so they’re protected by the huge Big Daddies. Anyways, as long as you don’t attack them, they are neutral to you, and you get lots of interesting behaviours, like the Little Sister pointing at you in fear if you get too close, that kind of thing.

In those details, it’s a good game, but the number of niggling complaints just stacks up. Each weapon has a stupid number of additional ammo types, and couple this with all your plasmid (basically magical powers) types it gets really hard to manage. The slavish devotion to the System Shock 2 archetype is justifiably mocked, it’s harmed what this game could have been.

Anyways, Bioshock is a game that’s worth getting, assuming that its monstrous system requirements don’t melt your PC into a foul smelling pool of ruined electronics.

In other news… (as promised)

  • Went for a trip up to Liverpool way to see Niro for his B’day BBQ and met up with the Uni people. It was awesometastic, and therefore deserves its own entry. All in good time, my pretties.
  • And next week I’m going on holiday to Majorca with Uni people. Again, probably going to rock.
  • The Orange Box has been released for purchase on Steam. It’s about £25, and comes with Half-Life 2, Episode One, Episode Two, Portal, and Team Fortress 2. It’s scarily good value, and all the games in it look brilliant. I’ve already cracked and bought it. Shame I’m on holiday next week when the TF2 beta starts. Anyways, anyone want a spare copy of HL2 and Ep1 on the 9th of October? They’re up for grabs.

Now, I shall retire to my bed to contemplate deeper mysteries, and let Sleep overtake my weary eyes. Until we meet again.